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NOBLE CAPTAIN KIRK
(Tune- Grand Old Duke of York)
The noble Captain Kirk, he had 500 men.
He beamed them up to the Enterprise,
And he beamed down again.
And when they're up, they're up,
And when they're down, they're down,
And when they're only halfway up,
They're nowhere to be found.
PILE OF TIN
I'm a little pile of tin
Nobody knows what shape I'm in
I've got four wheels and a runnin' board
I'm a four-door; I'm a Ford
Chorus:
Honk, honk, rattle, rattle, rattle, crash, beep, beep
Honk, honk, rattle, rattle, rattle, crash, beep, beep
Honk, honk, rattle, rattle, rattle, crash, beep, beep
Honk, honk
Got no bottom, got no top,
Throw out the anchor when you want to stop
Got no windows, got no brakes,
All I've got are small earthquakes
PINK PAJAMAS
(Tune-Battle Hymn of the Republic)
I wear my pink pajamas
In the summer when it's hot,
I wear my flannel nightie
In the winter when it's not,
And sometimes in the springtime
And sometimes in the fall
I jump between the covers
With nothin' on at all!
Glory, glory what's it to ya,
Glory, glory what's it to ya,
Glory, glory what's it to ya,
If I jump between the covers
With nothin' on at all!
PRINCESS PAT
(Tune- The Other Day I Met A Bear)
The Princess Pat
Light Infantry
She sailed across
The seven seas
She sailed across
The channel too
And she took with her
A ric-a-dam-do
Chorus:
A ric-a-dam-do
Now what is that?
It's a somethin' made
By the Princess Pat
It's red and gold
And purple too
That's why it's called
A ric-a-dam-do
Now Captain Jack
Had a mighty fine crew
He sailed across
The channel too
His ship did sink
And yours will too
Unless you take
A ric-a-dam-do
(Chorus)
QUARTERMASTER'S STORE
There are rats, rats, as big as alley cats,
At the store, at the store.
There are rats, rats, as big as alley cats,
At the Quartermaster's store.
Chorus:
My eyes are dim, I can not see.
I have not brought my specs with me. [Repeat.]
Mice...running through the rice.
Snakes...as big as garden rakes.
Beans...as big as submarines.
Gravy...enough to float the navy.
Cakes...that give us tummy aches.
Eggs...with scaly chicken legs.
Butter...running in the gutter.
Lard...they sell it by the yard.
Bread...with great big lumps like lead.
Cheese...that makes you want to sneeze.
Soot...they grow it by the foot.
Goats...eating all the oats
Bees...with little knobby knees.
Owls...shredding paper towels.
Apes...eating all the grapes.
Turtles...wearing rubber girdles.
Bear...with curlers in its hair.
Buffaloes...with hair between their toes.
Foxes...stuffed in little boxes.
Coke...enough to make you choke.
Pepsi...that gives you apoplexy.
Roaches...sleeping in the coaches.
Flies...swarming 'round the pies.
Fishes...washing all the dishes.
Moths...eating through the cloths
Scouts...eating Brussels sprouts.
Leaders...slapping at the skeeters.
RAVIOLI
(Tune-Alouette)
Ravioli, I like ravioli; ravioli, it's so good for me.
Do I have it in my hair?
Yes you have it in your hair.
In my hair? OHHH...
Ravioli, I like ravioli; ravioli, it's so good for me.
Continue: Chin, tie, shirt, skirt (pants), shoes, floor.
REUBEN AND RACHAEL
Rueben, Rueben, I've been thinking
What a grand world this would be
If the men were all transported
Far beyond the northern sea
Oh my goodness gracious, Rachael
What a queer world this would be
If the men were all transported
Far beyond the northern sea
Rueben, Rueben, I've been thinking
What a gay life girls would lead
If they had no men about them
None to tease them, none to heed
Rachael, Rachael, I've been thinking
Men would have a merry time
If at once they were transported
Far beyond the salty brine
Rueben, Rueben, stop your teasing
If you've any love for me
I was only just a-fooling
As I thought of course you'd see
Rachael, if you'll not transport us
I will take you for my wife
And I'll split with you my money
Every pay day of my life
SARAH THE WHALE
Tune-Dixie (verse)
In Frisco town there lived a whale.
They fed her peanuts by the pail
And washtubs and bathtubs, and sailboats
And schooners.
Her name is Sarah and she's a peach,
But don't put food within her reach,
Or babies, or nursemaids,
Or chocolate ice-cream sodas.
She loves to smile and when she smiles,
You can see her teeth for miles and miles,
And her tonsils and her spare ribs,
And other things too fierce to mention.
Now what can you do in a case like that?
There's nothing to do but sit on your hat,
Or your toothbrush, or your best friend,
Or anything that's helpless
SIPPIN' CIDER
(Tune-The Other Day I Met A Bear)
Each verse is sung twice, the first time echoes on each line, the second time yodels the word "cider".
The cutest boy
I ever saw
Was sippin' ci-
Der through a straw
The cutest boy I ever saw
Was sippin' ci-d-i-d-ider through a straw.
I asked him if
He'd show me how
To sip some ci-
Der through a straw ...
He said of course
He'd show me how
To sip some ci-
Der through a straw...
First cheek to cheek
Then jaw to jaw
We sipped that ci-
Der through a straw...
And bit by bit
That straw did slip
And we sipped ci-
Der lip to lip...
That's how I got
My mother-in-law
And forty-nine kids
To call me Ma...
The moral of
This little tale
Is don't sip ci-
Der through a straw
The moral of this little tale
Is don't sip ci-de-i-de-ider through a straw...
Drink ginger ale!
SOAP AND TOWEL
(Tune- Row, Row, Row Your Boat)
Soap, soap, soap and towel
Towel and water please.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
Wash your dirty knees.
SOUND OFF
Sky is blue and grass is green (echo)
Gee I hate to clean latrines (echo)
Sound off (1,2)
Bring it on down (3,4)
Cadence count (1,2,3,4...1,2.3,4)
Mustard, mustard sure is yella'...I sure wish I had a fella'
Ketchup, ketchup sure is red ...I sure wish I'd stayed in bed
Grass is green and sky is blue...I just love to sing with you
(Caller can make up additional verses)
SQUIRTY ORANGE or BAR OF SOAP
(Tune- If You're Happy and.)
Oh, I wish I were a little squirty orange, squirty orange
Oh, I wish I were a little squirty orange, squirty orange
I'd go squirty, squirty, squirty over everybody's shirty
Oh, I wish I were a little squirty orange.
2) Bar of soap...I'd go slidey, slidey, slidey over everybody's hiney
3) Bottle of pop...I'd go down with a slurp and come up with a burp
4) Foreign car...I'd go speedy, speedy, speedy over everybody's feety
5) Mosquito...I'd go hidey, hidey, hidey under everybody's nightie
6) Fishy in the sea...Wouldn't I look cute without my bathing suit?
7) Safety pin...Wouldn't it be fun if I suddenly came undone
8) Band-Aid...I'd stick to the hairs and pull them up in pairs
9) Striped skunk...I'd sit up in the trees and perfume all the breeze
10) English sparrow...I'd sit upon the steeple and spit on all the people
11) Creepy little ghost...I'd give you such a scare that you'd lose your underwear
12) Little Girl Scout...I'd go tramp, tramp, tramp to the nearest Boy Scout camp
13) Little radio... I'd come on with a click and go off
STAY ON THE SUNNY SIDE
Stay on the sunny side, always on the sunny side
Stay on the sunny side of life, YEEHAW!
You'll be feelin' no pain as we drive you all insane
Stayin' on the sunny side of life
1.Knock, Knock
Who's there
Ether
Ether who
It's the Ether Bunny!
(Chorus)
2.Knock Knock
Who's there
Itsa
Itsa who
Itsa nother Ether Bunny!
(Chorus)
3.Knock Knock
Who's there?
Notta
Notta who
Notta another Ether Bunny!
(Chorus)
4.Knock Knock
Who's there?
Cargo
Cargo who
Cargo beep beep,
Run over all the Ether Bunnies!
(Chorus)
5.Knock Knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who
Don't cry, Ether Bunny be back next year!
(Chorus)
SUMMER CAMP
(Tune- Green Grow the Rushes)
I'll sing you one-o,
We are the campers-o.
What is your one-o?
One is one for summer camp,
And ever more shall be so!
I'll sing you two-o,
We are the campers-o.
What is your two-o?
Two, two, tie dyed shirts,
Drying in the breeze-o
One is one for summer camp,
And ever more shall be it so!
Three, three, the mosquitoes-ouch!
Four for the icy waters
Five for the kayaks on the lake
Six for the midnight hikers
Seven for the evening thunderstorms
Eight for the outhouse cleaners
Nine for the yummy cookouts
Ten for the caterpillars
Eleven for eleven hours' sleep all week
Twelve for the awesome counselors
SWITCH
(Tune: Reuben and Rachel)
I don't care if I go crazy
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, Switch.
Crazy go I, if care don't I
6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Switch.
TELL ME WHY (SILLY VERSES)
Tell me why the bugs do bite,
Tell me why the campfire won't light,
Tell me why the tent fell down,
Tell me why we slept on the ground.
Because they're hungry, the bugs do bite,
Because the wood's wet, the campfire won't light,
Because we're sloppy, the tent fell down,
Because we're crazy, we slept on the ground.
THE OTHER DAY I MET A BEAR
(Each verse is sung twice, the first time echoes on each line)
The other day
I met a bear
A great big bear
Oh way out there
He looked at me,
I looked at him
He sized up me
I sized up him
He says to me,
"Why don't you run?
I see you don't
Have any gun."
And so I ran
Away from there
But right behind
Me was that bear
I had to climb
Into a tree
A great big tree
Oh mercy me
The lowest branch
Was ten feet up
I had to jump
And trust my luck
And so I jumped
Into the air
But I missed that branch
Oh way up there
But don't you fret
And don't you frown
'Cause I caught that branch
On the way back down
That's all there is
There is no more
Unless I see that bear once more
THREE CHARTREUSE BUZZARDS
(Tune-Three Blind Mice, more or less. Bold text has kind of a squeal to it.)
Three chartreuse buzzards, three chartreuse buzzards
Sitting in a dead tree, sitting in a dead tree
Oh look, one has flown away
That is too bad
Two...One...
No chartreuse buzzards, no chartreuse buzzards
Sitting in a dead tree, sitting in a dead tree
Oh look, one has re-turned
Let us re-joice
One...Two...
Three chartreuse buzzards, three chartreuse buzzards
Sitting in a dead tree, sitting in a dead tree
Now they're all here
This is the end
TWELVE DAYS OF SUMMER CAMP
(Tune- Twelve Days of Christmas)
On the first day of summer camp my family sent to me,
A raccoon in a pine tree.
- skinned knees
- broken pencils
- flashlights
- perfect s'mores
- bathing suits
- missing skewers
- counselors sleeping
- pairs of skivvies
- noisy chipmunks
- lost swimmers
- soggy towels
WIENIE MAN
I know a wienie man
He owns a wienie stand
He sells me everything
From hotdogs on down
One day I'll share his life
I'll be his wienie wife
Hotdog, I love that wienie man.
Hotdog!
WISHY WASHY WOMAN
(Tune-Over in the Meadow , but jazzy)
Out in the jungle
Where the river flows
The wishy washy woman
Is a-washin' her clothes
She goes Ooh! Ah! Ooh! Ah!
And that's how the washy woman
Washes her clothes
She goes Ooh! Ah! Ooh! Ah!
And that's how the washy woman
Washes her clothes